So much more than a call or statement to share
Much more than a number to boast
Greater than any mob
more powerful than loneliness
A connection I've yearned for
richer than Forbes greatest
more solemn than the deepest secret
Purer than a newborn baby
Like love it is an action
takes work, patience, effort, growth
So with this pledge, I friendship you;
with an affection that makes us thicker than blood, I friendship you;
with trust I've never known, I friendship you;
with a companionship to be desired, I friendship you;
with a bond envied by those who know not what they are missing
In a world where the word is carelessly and partially embraced, I whole heartedly friendship you and if any thing were to take you from me today.
I would hold enough faith in the moments that we've friended to get me through tomorrow.
You are my heart, you are my inspiration.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Love
One of my good friends blogs about love and recently posted a video of her favorite love song....here is one of my favorites. I think this song is so timeless and genuine which is necessary when discussing such a fragile topic. Enjoy!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Do unto others as you would want the Father to do unto you.
Have you ever put so much faith and work into someone only to have them disappoint you? You see so much potential in them, but they fail to see it for themselves. You hold high expectations for them and their lives, accomplishments, but they remain satisfied with mediocrity and just getting by.
I hate these moments with a passion!!
One of the biggest problems that I have is working with someone near and dear to me and believing in them with all my heart...and they just don't make the cut. [Sidenote: This is not a personal attack, but if you feel like this fits your life, or your place in mine, maybe it's time for some self reflection and an action plan] Ok, the problem doesn't come when they suffice with barely acceptable, the problem comes with my reaction. I seriously get angry. Well, maybe it's more of a disappointment. I will actually have an attitude...like they knew what they were doing and how much it hurt me. I'm still trying to figure out if I get so torn up because I feel personally offended or because they just don't see their potential and will settle for less again, and again. At the end of the day, I might lose my attitude, but deep down I feel a loss of hope and contemplate never helping this person again because it wouldn't matter, the same problems would exist and I just don't have the time.
Needless to say, this has happened multiple times in my life with my family, close friends, even from a distance. During one of my latest tiffs with my emotions, I began to really think about why I was so bothered. And then the camera lens turned to me. All of a sudden I felt ashamed. Is this the way that God feels when I choose not to do right? Does my inability to recognize or accept my greater purpose stain His heart with disappointment? Does He ever think to leave me to fend for myself in this cold, brutal world? Never. Regardless of the decisions that I make in my life, God never leaves my side. He continues to work with me and lead me down the right path. He repeatedly accepts my apologies and pledges despite my wavering actions. And for that, I am eternally grateful.
All I can say is that He is not through with my yet....still got a few kinks to work out, but I'm steady growing every day!
So I say, it's fine to do unto others as you would want them to do unto you, but I'm more concerned with the Father above because his is the only opinion that truly matters.
...but what do I know?
Until next time....
"Those that are the hardest to love, need it the most."
-Unknown
"I will never leave you, nor forsake you."
-Hebrews 13:5
I hate these moments with a passion!!
One of the biggest problems that I have is working with someone near and dear to me and believing in them with all my heart...and they just don't make the cut. [Sidenote: This is not a personal attack, but if you feel like this fits your life, or your place in mine, maybe it's time for some self reflection and an action plan] Ok, the problem doesn't come when they suffice with barely acceptable, the problem comes with my reaction. I seriously get angry. Well, maybe it's more of a disappointment. I will actually have an attitude...like they knew what they were doing and how much it hurt me. I'm still trying to figure out if I get so torn up because I feel personally offended or because they just don't see their potential and will settle for less again, and again. At the end of the day, I might lose my attitude, but deep down I feel a loss of hope and contemplate never helping this person again because it wouldn't matter, the same problems would exist and I just don't have the time.
Needless to say, this has happened multiple times in my life with my family, close friends, even from a distance. During one of my latest tiffs with my emotions, I began to really think about why I was so bothered. And then the camera lens turned to me. All of a sudden I felt ashamed. Is this the way that God feels when I choose not to do right? Does my inability to recognize or accept my greater purpose stain His heart with disappointment? Does He ever think to leave me to fend for myself in this cold, brutal world? Never. Regardless of the decisions that I make in my life, God never leaves my side. He continues to work with me and lead me down the right path. He repeatedly accepts my apologies and pledges despite my wavering actions. And for that, I am eternally grateful.
All I can say is that He is not through with my yet....still got a few kinks to work out, but I'm steady growing every day!
So I say, it's fine to do unto others as you would want them to do unto you, but I'm more concerned with the Father above because his is the only opinion that truly matters.
...but what do I know?
Until next time....
"Those that are the hardest to love, need it the most."
-Unknown
"I will never leave you, nor forsake you."
-Hebrews 13:5
Thursday, June 17, 2010
...that's what little boys are made of.
Last week a first grade boy came up to me grinning at work and proudly stated,
Later in the day the 6 year old's words still resonated with me as I recalled the numerous black males, young and old, who aim solely to be rappers and athletes...regardless of talent. I remember the days when children wanted to be doctors and lawyers. [I am not old enough to be able to make a statement like that, but sadly, I can]. But I refuse to lose all hope in our future.
The common link between athletes and rappers is entertainment. By limiting themselves to these careers, our youth are following the expectation of black males as entertainers. This trend goes all the way back to the days of the Sambo character.
All of the blame, however, cannot be put on the little boys. Children learn what they live and we have to take responsibility for our youth. Where are the black lawyers, doctors, business men, entrepreneurs? Where are the positive male role models? Where are the standards? If we allow our boys to only witness these entertainers, they won't even know that they are capable of being something greater. Yes, a Black President is nice, but I don't know him...do you? It is those male figures in the neighborhood, at church, at school, in the family, who are going to have the biggest impact on this so-called lost generation.
In a time filled with guns, drugs, gangs, and violence, the least we can do is be encouraging. And if these boys can't see their potential, we need to show them.
...but what do I know?
"When me and Quintin grow up, we're going to be in the Army!"He was so excited as he proclaimed this statement. Almost as if his young, innocent mind understood the honor that comes with serving one's country.
Later in the day the 6 year old's words still resonated with me as I recalled the numerous black males, young and old, who aim solely to be rappers and athletes...regardless of talent. I remember the days when children wanted to be doctors and lawyers. [I am not old enough to be able to make a statement like that, but sadly, I can]. But I refuse to lose all hope in our future.
The common link between athletes and rappers is entertainment. By limiting themselves to these careers, our youth are following the expectation of black males as entertainers. This trend goes all the way back to the days of the Sambo character.
All of the blame, however, cannot be put on the little boys. Children learn what they live and we have to take responsibility for our youth. Where are the black lawyers, doctors, business men, entrepreneurs? Where are the positive male role models? Where are the standards? If we allow our boys to only witness these entertainers, they won't even know that they are capable of being something greater. Yes, a Black President is nice, but I don't know him...do you? It is those male figures in the neighborhood, at church, at school, in the family, who are going to have the biggest impact on this so-called lost generation.
In a time filled with guns, drugs, gangs, and violence, the least we can do is be encouraging. And if these boys can't see their potential, we need to show them.
...but what do I know?
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Would I Rather Be Sassy or Angry?
sas·sy adj. sas·si·er , sas·si·est
1. Rude and disrespectful; impudent.
2. Lively and spirited; jaunty.
3. Stylish; chic: a sassy little hat.
[Alteration of saucy .]
sas'si·ly adv. , sas'si·ness n.
1. Rude and disrespectful; impudent.
2. Lively and spirited; jaunty.
3. Stylish; chic: a sassy little hat.
[Alteration of saucy .]
sas'si·ly adv. , sas'si·ness n.
My senior year of high school, in a highly ranked boarding school in The Middle of Nowhere, CT, I acquired the nickname, Sassy. I seemed to always have something to say, some slick comment or facial expression showing my true emotions about a statement, action, or just someone's existence. (I can't say too much has changed, but that's a topic for another blog post.) Now, in my opinion, I was just being an opinionated individual exhibiting my first amendment rights. However, others saw it as "Sassy." According to the definition above, I would personally align my attitude to the second statement; lively and spirited. But over time, everything that I said and every move that I made became "Sassy"....impudent, insulting. At the time, because of the origin of the nickname, I waved off the possible insult and embraced the moniker. It is not until recently that I have become bothered by the title.
Nicknames are a common habit. By creating a nickname, you can feel creative or special; by spreading a nickname you can feel a part of something. All of that is fine and dandy; Sassy wasn't my first title and it certainly won't be my last. However, there is a thin line between name and label. I recently attended the 2010 Graduation at my Alma Mater and a conversation with one of my good friends resurfaced the spread of "Sassy."
"I hate the word Sassy! I never want to hear it again!"Supposedly, the term sassy was being used to describe the African American females and their so called attitudes. Now, I don't know if everyone has missed the memo, but WE ARE NOT MONOLITHIC!! While I believe that we all represent our race, we are also individuals. One experience that is had with a black female or a group of black females is not an accurate predictor of future encounters. I was appalled and suddenly disgusted that "Sassy" became the new insult...with a smile.
One common stereotype for black females who speak their mind is the "Angry Black Woman" and in a predominantly white learning institution, you can add "The Token" in front of that stereotype. I recall numerous conversations with fellow black females about confrontations and classified "ABW" moments. But why couldn't we just be speaking our minds? Why did all of our reactions have to fit a label of some sort? It amazes me how someone so strong can be depreciated due to the fear of others, while the timid "in her place" woman continues to find her voice.
an·ger -noun
1. a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire.
an·gry adj. -gri·er, -gri·est.
1. feeling or showing anger or strong resentment (usually fol by at, with, or about): to be angry at the dean; to be angry about the snub.
2. expressing, caused by, or characterized by anger; wrathful: angry words.
-Synonyms: irate, incensed, enraged, infuriated, furious, mad; provoked, irritated.
So the question is, would I rather be Sassy or Angry?
Well right now, I'm angry. While my anger may make me sassy to some extent, I'll live with that. Reflecting on my labeled sassy days, I realize that I was blindly playing a game. I was entertaining all of the people who wanted to understand- be in control- label the unknown, by embracing the moniker. I empowered them by belittling myself and letting them call me the Angry Black Woman, with a twist. By calling me sassy, I was the happy, angry black woman...as opposed to the so-called obscene individual who they shouldn't like, shouldn't want to be around. Call it what it is. While everyone who ranted the word was not ill-intentioned, we all fell victim to the labeling power struggle of those who were.
Ironically, there is another definition for sassy:
sas·sy n. pl. sas·sies
A western African tree (Erythrophleum suaveolens) of the pea family, having bark that yields a poison and wood that is used for construction. Also called sasswood, sassy bark.
Now, yes, this definition can be equally insulting, but I find it kind of clever that this all ends up connecting back to Africa (...especially because the nickname and now epidemic originated in South Africa.) The bark of the sasswood tree -though poisonous- is removable, making the actual wood of the tree useful. Metaphorically, we could use this tree as a message to look beyond the sassy or poisonous shell that is visible or you may miss out on something strong and useful,full of personality.
At the end of the day I just want to be me, as cliche as that sounds. While I'm still working on who exactly "me" is, if that means being sassy, angry, expressive, caring...all of those...whatever, then that's who I'm going to be. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in labels, that rather that creating our own way of being, we simply fit the mold permitting others to shape us as they choose.
...but what do I know?
Until next time, here are a few words to resonate with the sass within:
- "If you don't run your own life, somebody else will."
~ John Atkinson
- "Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly."
~ St. Francis De Sales
- "You were not born a winner, and you were not born a loser. You are what you make yourself be."
~ Lou Holtz
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
We've Got To Do Better For Ourselves, For Our Future
I just read in Jet Magazine (June 14/21, 2010) that "Whites Are Four Times Wealthier Than Blacks." This article states that "middle-income White households own more wealth than high-income African American families." Keyword: WEALTH! There is a significant difference between being rich and being wealthy. When you are rich, you are still working for your money; when you are wealthy, your money is working for you. In other words, investments lead to wealthiness.
Have you ever noticed that the most wealthy people wear the simplest clothes? That often times you cannot even tell that person's Socioeconomic Status (SES) by looking at them? That is because they don't need to prove to anyone that they have money. On the contrary, black people in particular, tend to show off what they have financially, at that moment... if only for that moment. This leads me to the concept of being "hood rich." This is when you have people buying Escaldes and Hummers, shoes and bling when they can barely afford clothes for their child, or a decent place to live. Now, I am all for people enjoying their hard earned money, but a common trend in the African American community is a lack of investing. The difference between buying a house and a car is that as soon as you drive a car off the lot, it's worth less than you just paid for it, whereas, investing in land and property produces interest, thus, you make money off of a single purchase.
While lack of investing and money management is a problem in our community, and our country as a whole, this article also states some other unfortunate discriminations. For example, "Blacks are often charged higher interest rates than Whites when securing a loan for education, housing, or a vehicle." As a black college student with loans, this statement vexes me. I consider education to be an investment, regardless of the cost and regardless of the skin color of the individual receiving the intellectual benefits.
While they may be habitual and unintentional, the inequalities that are noted "coincidentally" between Blacks and Whites are unnerving. Call me naive, but I like to believe that we as a nation are making consistent progress in the land of racial inequality. At the same time, this is just more evidence against those who still believe that the election of a Black President has magically erased all injustice, inequality, and racism in America. Erroneous! Mankind has never been on a level playing field, even from the days of Jesus Christ himself. And in my opinion, He is the only individual man that can change anything instantaneously...not Obama, not Clinton, not McCain.
At the end of the day, the only advice for change and the advancement of our people, any people, that I have to offer is education, Education , EDUCATION! An individual without education becomes a slave to his/her own ignorance, as well as those who are educated around him/her. We must educate ourselves so that we can educate and encourage the education of future generations.
...but what do I know?
For now, I leave you with this:
When asked how much educated men were superior to those uneducated, Aristotle answered, 'As much as the living are to the dead.'
Diogenes Laetius
Have you ever noticed that the most wealthy people wear the simplest clothes? That often times you cannot even tell that person's Socioeconomic Status (SES) by looking at them? That is because they don't need to prove to anyone that they have money. On the contrary, black people in particular, tend to show off what they have financially, at that moment... if only for that moment. This leads me to the concept of being "hood rich." This is when you have people buying Escaldes and Hummers, shoes and bling when they can barely afford clothes for their child, or a decent place to live. Now, I am all for people enjoying their hard earned money, but a common trend in the African American community is a lack of investing. The difference between buying a house and a car is that as soon as you drive a car off the lot, it's worth less than you just paid for it, whereas, investing in land and property produces interest, thus, you make money off of a single purchase.
While lack of investing and money management is a problem in our community, and our country as a whole, this article also states some other unfortunate discriminations. For example, "Blacks are often charged higher interest rates than Whites when securing a loan for education, housing, or a vehicle." As a black college student with loans, this statement vexes me. I consider education to be an investment, regardless of the cost and regardless of the skin color of the individual receiving the intellectual benefits.
While they may be habitual and unintentional, the inequalities that are noted "coincidentally" between Blacks and Whites are unnerving. Call me naive, but I like to believe that we as a nation are making consistent progress in the land of racial inequality. At the same time, this is just more evidence against those who still believe that the election of a Black President has magically erased all injustice, inequality, and racism in America. Erroneous! Mankind has never been on a level playing field, even from the days of Jesus Christ himself. And in my opinion, He is the only individual man that can change anything instantaneously...not Obama, not Clinton, not McCain.
At the end of the day, the only advice for change and the advancement of our people, any people, that I have to offer is education, Education , EDUCATION! An individual without education becomes a slave to his/her own ignorance, as well as those who are educated around him/her. We must educate ourselves so that we can educate and encourage the education of future generations.
...but what do I know?
For now, I leave you with this:
When asked how much educated men were superior to those uneducated, Aristotle answered, 'As much as the living are to the dead.'
Diogenes Laetius
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Dear Curious Hair Gazer,
I know that my hair is beautiful and it's new to you and me. But please observe it and Stop Touching My Hair! Your hands are dirty and do nothing to aid in the rich history and glamor of the wool that resides upon my head. I do not approach you and pet you like a dog or compliment your new style with my hands, so why should I take the same treatment? Yes, black natural hair can be quite...amazing...intriguing. But if you are interested, ask a question. I will not take offense because questions are the only way that we kill ignorance. However, if you choose to live in the stench of ignorance, do not be surprised if I dodge your grasp or cut my eyes. It is said that a woman's hair is her glory. Her crown. And I for one am claiming my throne and refuse for it to be tainted by your oppressing hands. So the next time that you even think to reach for my natural, kinky, curly, locks of pride, remember that there are consequences to every action. You touch the 'fro...you gotta go!
Peace and love
Peace and love
Let's Get Started
Hello World!
I finally did it; I have joined the wonderful world of blogging! I frequently have random conversations and thoughts that I feel should be shared with the world so...here we go!
If you have a specific topic you would like to hear my opinion on, hit me up...with caution.
I finally did it; I have joined the wonderful world of blogging! I frequently have random conversations and thoughts that I feel should be shared with the world so...here we go!
If you have a specific topic you would like to hear my opinion on, hit me up...with caution.
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